Starting a business that people are inspired by but not necessarily motivated by, has its ups and downs. The social impact of what we have created is tremendous and far reaching. But in the startup world, this might be called a vitamin, not a pain killer. A vitamin is a “nice to have”, not a “must have”, like a pain killer is to cure and ease your ailments.
So we created a vitamin. Now what?
Every single individual we’ve talked-to and pitched-to agrees that the loss of precious stories and traditions is a real and present risk. No disputing that! But in our death-denying culture, perhaps putting off courageous conversations feels like there will surely be another time to do it.
I’m guilty of that feeling too. I’ll even catch myself saying to myself, “Dad seems like he’s well today, we can always chat in a few weeks.” Because having those conversations ourself is hard. But one can defer the effort too - we can hire a professional to do it, just like one has the landscaper guy and the bbq cleaning service (middle of summer when this is being written, so those are super top of mind). And even another option, we can get the elder to write a memoir by responding to weekly emails. Get’er done.
Let me be clear. You should hire a professional to do it (No Story Lost for a service, Theresa McVean for a Genealogist are two of our faves)... AND (not but) you should also do it yourself - being a full participant in the process of collecting and preserving stories.
Why both?
The professional will ask questions you couldn’t imagine AND will be a non partisan ear for the storyteller to reveal intimate information that they may not want to tell their family members (fear of hurting or being too honest after years of protecting you). And they do this for a living. They know exactly how to package things up in a beautiful keepsake that will live on long after the person is gone. Priceless.
Doing this yourself and being a willing participant in the process is not for the faint of heart. Engaging in conversations takes courage, humility, and an openness to share a piece of yourself. And importantly, a willingness to forgive and mend the strains that naturally come with familial bonds over time.
Save for the toxic family members and relationships (which should be put in a box with very clear, tight boundaries), the magic that is produced when two family members come together, surface the stories that bond only them is enough to make the effort worth it. Getting to know your family member as a person, not the role they play in your life, reveals who they are on a human level versus what and who they are in service of. Having an understanding of the choices that people made, at different life stages, in the context of the times, weaves together a tapestry of stories as unique and individual as snowflakes or fingerprints. The ability to dig deeper, be curious, learn about yourself as an active participant is never ending, Like the late gifted storyteller Alice Munro said:
“A story is not like a road to follow…it’s more like a house. You go inside and stay there for a while, wandering back and forth and settling where you like and discovering how the room and corridors relate to each other, how the world outside is being altered by being viewed from these windows.”
And perhaps there will come a time when a vitamin feels more important, dare I say, even necessary. When that time comes, Root & Seed will be here to help you. Give you the tools and prompts to make storytelling fun, effortless and intentional. Surface memories and make memories at the same time. Reveal things about your capacity to build empathy, forgive, learn about yourself and grow. Move from being a vitamin to a pain killer.
More healed individuals and a more healed collective. Isn’t that what the world needs more of right now?
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What are some other "vitamins" you think we need more of in our lives? Let us know in the comments!
